I believe my lover is having my child – however claims it’s her husband’s

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR my ex-lover used me to father a kid, which she is now passing off as her husband’s.

I’m 39 and my ex is 29. We first met down the pub.

What if I’ve a son or daughter who I’ll by no means know?

She advised me she was once unhappily married and that she and her husband infrequently had intercourse.

Even if she was once stunning and out of my league I ­in truth fantasised she may fall in love with me and depart her husband.

One night time, we each had a little an excessive amount of to drink and ended up again at my position, the place we had intercourse. We didn’t use ­birth control.

After that, she mentioned it was once absolute best if we have been simply buddies, as she didn’t need a complete affair.

I used to be harm and dissatisfied, however authorised it.

She stopped coming to the pub and seldom messaged.

Two months later, she despatched me a textual content abruptly announcing she was once pregnant and was once going to stay it.

She requested me to stay our come across secret as she was once ­giving issues a right kind pass along with her husband.

She was once obscure about how a long way alongside she was once with the being pregnant, however she mentioned she was once certain it was once his.

I mentioned I’d be there for her if it was once mine.

Since then, we’ve had minimum touch.

I heard the infant was once born closing month, and I will’t prevent eager about it. It was once about 9 months when we had intercourse.

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What if I’ve a son or daughter who I’ll by no means know?

It appears like the whole lot my fling mentioned to me was once a lie.

How does she know the infant is her husband’s?

Get in contact with Deidre

Each drawback will get a non-public answer, typically inside 24 hours weekdays.

Did she use me to intentionally get pregnant? Most likely she’d been making an attempt unsuccessfully with him.

What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS:  It’s imaginable the infant is yours. However it will neatly be your ex’s husband’s too.

In actual fact, you don’t know when her closing length was once, or when she ovulated, or when she closing slept with him.

However, onerous as it’s to simply accept, your ex has selected to convey this child up as her husband’s, and he or she has a proper to try this, even if it feels merciless and flawed to you.

The one approach it’s essential end up you’re the child’s father is with a DNA take a look at. Cellmark (cellmark.co.united kingdom, 0800 036 2522) is a credible corporate.

However it’s essential best do this together with your ex’s involvement and permission – until making a decision to take her to courtroom.

It’s good to check out chatting with her once more. Most likely she will say or display you one thing that may reassure you.

My lover said he'd be happier with me - but now he's miserable without his son

Regardless, I do assume you wish to have to speak to any person about your emotions.

You might by no means get closure and you wish to have to learn how to reside with that.
Touch Supportline for confidential emotional improve (supportline.org.united kingdom, 01708 765 200).

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