He requested me to be his female friend on our first date – now I’m his spouse

My marriage ended within the autumn of 2017 when I used to be 52. 

After a couple of months of regrouping mentally, I made up our minds to dip my toe into the unpredictable waters of on-line relationship, in December of that yr.  

To start with, I used to be truly all in favour of the entire enjoy. Alternatively, it quickly emerged that folks on-line on occasion faux to be one thing they don’t seem to be. 

For instance, two of the folk I met have been people who smoke (having specified in a different way), one was once additionally an excessively heavy drinker (having stated ‘mild drinker’), and every other lied about his age.

After a couple of false begins, I used to be starting to wonder whether this was once going to paintings for me.

I used to be at the verge of giving up on relationship when, for some explanation why, the set of rules at the website online I used to be the use of saved on appearing me one specific profile. 

It’s not that i am positive why I used to be attracted to it, because it was once a relatively awkward, childlike, unsmiling ‘to digicam’ picture (I used to be later amused to search out that it was once taken by way of his ex spouse in an try to assist him transfer on). 

However, for no matter explanation why, I used to be intrigued.

John was once 59, coated in tattoos and a semi-retired accountant, who additionally ran meditation classes. 

We’d been messaging for a couple of days once I felt spurred to motion and spontaneously rang and prompt a pub I knew, which was once native to him. He stated he’d be unfastened throughout the hour. 

We met at 2pm. Straightaway, John appeared very other to somebody I had dated sooner than. Each bodily and in the best way he spoke. He was once very subject of reality. 

A few hours in and issues have been going swimmingly (Image: John Moore)

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I spotted that he had an extended sleeved jacket on and having been warned in regards to the tattoos in his profile (‘for those who’re no longer into tattoos there’s no level in studying on’), I used to be amused to look no proof. 

After about an hour it was once stifling within the pub and I stated ‘why don’t you’re taking your jacket off?’ and was once slightly shocked, after the forthright observation on his profile, for him to show bashful and say, ‘however you’ll see my tattoos’. I laughed and reassured him. 

In spite of no longer being my same old kind, he gave the impression to be a candy soul.

Once we met for that first date, I now know that John additionally felt that I used to be no longer his same old ‘fayre’. Since his divorce he had discovered himself attracted to prime repairs blonde ‘mums that lunch’ and I couldn’t be farther from that stereotype!

Alternatively, in spite of our reservations we sat down with our respective pints and began chatting. It was once simple, it was once amusing and the time flew. I in particular appreciated that his moment pint was once orange squash. Yay! In any case anyone who gave the impression to be truthful.  

I made up our minds to begin as I supposed to head on, so when he stated he didn’t need anything else from the bar menu, somewhat than act demure, I went forward and ordered some scorching snacks. He seemed bemused. 

The way in which I noticed it, assembly anyone like this – with out a preconceptions – was once my likelihood to be extra me, so I ordered candy potato chips and fortunately scoffed the lot!

A few hours in and issues have been going swimmingly. The time appeared to fly, we have been speaking nonstop, finding out about each and every different’s pasts. Then, John discussed that he had his sixtieth birthday celebration bobbing up per week later. 

‘Do you want to return?’ he requested. Smiling, I enquired, ’in what capability?’ and he straight away got here again to me, as though it was once evident. As his female friend. Wow! This man strikes rapid! 


Heading again to his space, I had no concept what to anticipate (Image: John Moore)

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However I appreciated his candour and directly speaking, no nonsense manner. Smartly, why no longer, I believed. I stated that if we have been nonetheless seeing each and every different then, sure, I’d love to return. 

He then requested if I might buy groceries to assist him make a selection an outfit the next day. And stated we can have a espresso and cake whilst we have been at it. Sounded best possible. 

We carried on speaking. And by way of 5pm it was once attending to ‘resolution time’. Have been we going to finish it right here and join up once more tomorrow? Or was once it going to hold on?

He requested if I sought after to visit the native people membership with him. I stated sure and he presented to make me dinner sooner than the gig, since he most effective lived up the street. Bless his cotton socks.

Heading again to his space, I had no concept what to anticipate – and It’s not that i am a fussy eater so I used to be going to be proud of a sandwich. However no, Hi Recent was once unpacked and I used to be given a number of dishes! I used to be very amused to be requested what ‘topping and tailing’ inexperienced beans was once. 

Right here was once a man making an attempt his highest to fend for himself, being quite newly unmarried. He was once appearing vulnerability, which appealed.

The gig was once duly attended, however no longer sooner than a tentative kiss in his lounge. Oh my, that launched the floodgates of interest. 

I’m virtually embarrassed to go back to that tune venue now as I now realise that our public shows of love will have to had been lovely evident. I’m shocked no person courteously requested us to get a room. 

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I made up our minds it could be too ahead to stick the evening however with a promise of a buying groceries travel early tomorrow, I drove house fortunately with a grin and a few satisfied tears streaking down my face. Have been my on-line relationship days over?

The next day to come, after a a hit buying groceries travel, I did keep the evening. And the next week, I attended his sixtieth, as his female friend. However no longer sooner than being offered to his complete circle of relatives at the week main up, together with an ‘interview’ by way of his ex spouse on day 4.  

It was once a super birthday celebration. I beloved assembly all his buddies and it felt so herbal. We had spent on a regular basis in combination since we met on that first day – and we’ve been virtually inseparable ever since. What a whirlwind. 

And, if you’re looking forward to an uncongenial twist within the story, there’s a satisfied finishing: We were given married on August sixteenth, 2019. 

It seems that on-line relationship isn’t so dangerous in any case, for those who persevere and look forward to the precise individual.

Thank goodness I used to be daring and organized that first date. 

You’ll be able to to find Helen’s podcast right here



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